Midday Moon
by sasukerox
Summary: Bella, we're leaving...Bella, I dont want you to come with me...You're not good for me, Bella...  The scene where he left her in New Moon. And all from Edward's point of view. Oneshot... Really, WHAT was he thinking!


A/N: I was thinking of Edward right now, and I really wanted Stephenie to make New Moon, from Edward's point of view. Like Midnight Sun. Especially this scene. I just wrote it how I thought Edward might feel.

**I do NOT own New Moon. (Or Twilight for that matter) Stephenie Meyer does! So I think basically ALL of the quoted sentences in this story are from New Moon…**

Walking was getting us nowhere. I stopped to lean against a tree. "Okay, let's talk." She said, her eyes filled with concentration. I took a deep breath. My deplorable lie was about to begin.

"Bella, we're leaving." I stated. She took a deep breath. "Why now? Another year—"

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I cut her off, waiting for her reaction.

Her brows furrowed—she was obviously confused. I tried my best to stare back coldly at the deep chocolate eyes of hers. Shock flickered upon her face. I had already broken her.

"When you say _we_—" she whispered. "I mean my family and myself." I explained carefully. She shook her head, trying to understand me. I waited patiently—all the while, watching her heart shatter.

"Okay, I'll come with you." I knew she would try and bring herself along. "You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me." Her eyes locked with mine, determination set. I had to plant the seed of doubt in her mind. "I'm no good for you, Bella." Well, I was partly telling the truth.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the very best part of my life." Her voice pleaded. "My world is not for you." I said grimly. "What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" she was desperately trying to make me understand.

"You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected." She took a step forward, her eyes pleading now. "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"

I cut her off, my words cutting her deeply. "As long as that was best for you,"

"_No! _This is about my soul, isn't it?" she shouted, though I could hear the begging in her voice. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't wait it without you—it's your already!" She was being stubborn—as usual.

I took a deep breath, glaring down at the ground. I knew what I would say next would hopefully _start _to make her believe my horrible lie. I looked up, glaring coldly at her. I was a good liar. I had to be.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." The worst lie that I could make slipped out. There was a moment of silence, as she let the words ruin her. I hated myself. It was all for her though. I was doing this for her.

"You…don't…want me?" she whispered. "No." I lied. She gazed into my eyes, confusion hitting her hard. I stared back with out apology. Well, I tried to. More than anything, I wanted to wrap my arms around her.

"Well, that changes things." She spoke calmly. I looked to the trees, trying my best to hide my shock and pain. How could she believe me? I thought it would take forever to make her believe. Never had I wanted so much to know what she was thinking. Did she truly believe I didn't love her…just like that?

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for change. Because I'm…_tired _of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back at her once I regained my mask. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't." she whispered, the pain in her voice hurting me more than ever. "Don't do this."

I stared back at her empty eyes. I had to make her believe more than that. "You're not good for me, Bella." I did it—I was sure of it. I most surely had told the most abhorrent lie ever. But I had to. I had to make her believe the farthest opposite thing from what I really felt. I did not love her.

She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it. I waited for her—waited for her to believe me.

"If…that's what you want." _No, it isn't. _I thought. Though, I nodded. She didn't move. She had believed me.

"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much," I said. She believed me, but now I wanted to talk reality. "Anything," she promised. My features slightly softened. I truly wanted her to keep this promise.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I needed her to understand. Being the magnet for trouble, I needed her to promise. She nodded helplessly.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself—for him." I thought of her father. How much he would hate me for this. As I hate myself too.

She nodded again. "I will," she whispered. I relaxed a little. "And I'll make you a promise in return," I had to get her to forget about me. Though I would never forget her, I would have to ask her to move on.

"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

Her knees started to shake. I had done it. I was the most horrible _person _of all eternity. I smiled gently, being the actor I was. "Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more that a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" She looked up at me; searching my eyes for the answer she knew would never come. "Well—" I stopped. I didn't expect this question. "I won't forget. But _my _kind…we're very easily distracted." I tried to smile the favourite smile of hers. I tired, unsuccessfully. By what, could I be distracted by? She was the one who distracted me from other things.

I took a step away from her. I had no reason to stay. Other than holding her in my arms, whispering _sorry_ to her.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again. Her eyes widened. "Alice isn't coming back," She didn't realize that I meant everyone else was leaving as well.

I shook my head slowly, watching her face. "No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I knew how much she loved Alice. I was hurting her all over again.

"Alice is gone?" she whispered, her voice empty. "She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." More like she argued with me about being an idiot.

Silence hit us again. She stood there, grasping everything I had just told her. I didn't want to make it any harder for her. "Goodbye, Bella." I said quietly, turning away. "Wait!" she yelled, following me. I turned to her, pinning her wrists to her sides. If she touched me, I would most likely start to cradle her, begging for forgiveness.

She closed her eyes, probably not wanting to look at me. "Take care of yourself," I whispered against her skin, taking one last intake of her irresistible scent.

In a flash, I fled from the scene. From afar, I watched her eyes flash open. She started to follow a path that she thought I had took. Though I had left no trail behind, she walked around, searching for me.

Why was I hurting myself? Watching her search for me…It was torture. I ran back to her room, opening her album. I slipped out the pictures she took of me. I opened the CD player. I took out the disk, as well as taking the tickets to Jacksonville.

I was at the window when I realized what I was doing. I promised her. She would never have to think of me. My childish behaviour took over. I lifted the floorboards, storing them away.

Taking one last glance at her room, I jumped from the window. If somehow Carlisle was right…if somehow I can go to either heaven or hell…I wish I still deserve to carry her scent with me in hell.

…

…

…

…_  
_

…

"Amazing…Carlisle was right."

FIN

A/N: I changed a few things at the end. By the way, the ... are there to like replace all the stuff between. And then...Carlisle was right. I dunno, I think that turned out well.


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